I killed a fish to eat in an oven
In the mouth the first flesh
I’ve absorbed in 18 years
A thing was alive it squirmed on
A boat in the blood of its brothers did
I like that
I killed it
Did
I like death
On my tongue
There is a shower after fish
Pungent fluids bubble on loofah
Smear unholiness on my
Breasts do not forgive me
What a nightmare to be alive
Reach arms to rinse my ass,
Palms startle when they find
Shallow buried serpents
Muscle ascends spine
Wind through
The trellis of my ribs
Connect body parts
And spook at the
Strength that exists
I twist to reach my thigh
And somehow
It appears I dance
And somehow,
The faces of creatures
I work with violate my
Mind consumed by wonder
Of how they give their trust to me
And out of the void I feel
Somehow I am loved there is
Goodness within twin serpents
Meet forked tongues
At the crossroads of my pelvis
Join polar magnets what a truth
To be alive and what happens
When the snout of dance finds
The lips of the awe of humanity
I recognize the human in you
And the human at the core of me
I began to cry
A body slaps
Wet sand like a fish
And dies alongside millions
Of the tiniest of Deaths
Water floods eyes
A pipe has burst
The Mississippi river
Body heaving
Rips valleys into
My flesh feels this is real
Long hair fans out like
Seaweed in the hissing steam
From a metal hole
Please exit the theater
In an orderly fashion
For close to the surface
A tower of bones collapses
Against a shower wall
That I have never touched before
In the hundreds of times I have
Shivered naked in this space
Cursed the soft form
A newborn snake exits
Some damp egg
Ripe with mucus
Somewhere to go
There is no other option
I can no longer deny
That I am alive
—
Magdalena
Spring 2020
Lucid Dreams 