I Hope You’re Staying Dry: Hurricane Party, Sex, Drugs, and Witchcraft

This past weekend’s
Hurricane Party
Skate gang is
Sola, Samuel, and Swamp Bunny

Wake on Alligator’s couch
Sweet voices from the shower
You have a soft side Sola,
My Best friend with her fiancé, Cheshire Cat.
I am glad he treats you well
You rise together early morning
Playful in the shower

When I’m with you we
Pass the best days of my life
We spin dizzy colors
Bleed together and
Sting my eyes
This is Not a Drill
I am in Love with Mr. Alligator
And he is your fiance’s best friend

It is July there is a Hurricane in the gulf
Soon we will feel the sky shaking
Hide in Uptown, New Orleans I know I am not
Safe here yes, I am better off by my parent’s up North
Yet here I am and can you guess why?
I long to sleep tonight in the quiet dip in the sofa
Where you rest your head when you come Home,
Alligator, I long to stay by our friends
Dysfunction and drugs and playing
The Game yes, I love you in plain sight

In the mid morning
Sola and I wander to Tree of Life to
Pray for Rain to Cleanse our Sins
We pose each other in hot pics
For Insta she plants palms in
Damp peat moss in decay she
Kicks her feet up in an arc
Handstand against a low branch
Yoga, muscles, and curves
Unapologetic #ThirstTraps

We suffocate as we heal as Tree of Life
Tosses Spanish Moss in my open diary
Throw me something Ma’am
I take the moss home with me, because
You gave yourself of your free will
Unto me, you placed yourself inside
My diary you demand to lounge
Deep in my unconscious and you
Surface in my dreams in
Sexual fantasies I enjoy
Thinking of Alligator when I am with
His Best Friends I am
Aroused by the idea
Of them feeling envious of our
Tense desire our burning eyes

Tree of Life commands us to
Weave Magic
Into the tapestry
Into the sky
Sola and I gather moss for spell work
For darker days

I ascend her
Straddle her solid beneath me
“Girl You’ve Got To Trust Her
Or this will never work okay?”
Palms on bark, focus on her branch
In my eyes of ancients past
I’ve gotta trust what is directly in front
There is no fear in this moment
“I can’t look down or surely I will fall.”
Succumb to flying to
Standing on tippy toes to
Steal a Kiss her sun kissed leaves
Leave her blushing you always
Leave me wanting more
But you’re not here, are you Mr. Alligator?
And so I climb her more.

Back home it is late, late
Samuel turns off the TV and
Hushes the boys to let me sleep
In the nook of your body’s heat
I still feel you here
You slept here weeks ago
When are you coming home?

The next night we discover an
Alien Planet
Rich folk’s grass
The good kind on the
Golf Course at Audobon Park
Carpet exposes we are miniatures
Ant specks crawling under a
Purple and orange sky observes
Ancient oaks pause
Here and there as a
Humble Hurricane passes by
He arrives in finality and marvels
Me and the Gang
Break Federal Curfew
Indulge in rebellion
Punk Rock jacket I created
To show you who’s boss
I am the #SwampThot
Sola takes a photo of me
Stretched seductively
Across the slick keep- out sign
We give Zero Fucks
Piss on the pampered lawn of
Old Money New Orleans
Generations of dirty Money
Lavishness fetishized from the
Blood and sweat of Slaves,
Walking home on St. Charles
A blacked out car skids by
Samuel says they “must be moving
A couple Kilos.” Since “now would
Be the perfect time.” Says a cop
Follows in disguise.

Back home: Samuel presents a
Fancy case his wide smile with a flourish says
“Swamp Bunny, You Need To Smell This Weed”
My face betrays my repulsion my
Lack of experience with his decadence
Unintentionally personal insult
He has lost the ability to relate that
I cannot be impressed I make a
Mental note to tell Alligator,
He will be in stitches over this one.

Morning and Sola, Samuel and I blade
Audoban park in full lucidity
Of daylight we are
The Coolest Kids you’ll ever see
Who wouldn’t kill to hang with us?
Rushing past Blaring
Nasty music Dressed to
Impress Styled to Terrify
Moves to Testify
Samuel says he feels like he’s flying
I say I feel alive

Afternoon and we encounter a Vigilante Weatherman
At The Fly on the Mississippi River, says
He prefers to be called an
Armature Storm Chaser
I could not resist asking about
His homemade wind sock
Broken Sexton from Party City after Halloween Sale
Red Hair and freckles, eyes squint
Points to the Eye of the Storm
In the distance
Draws us a diagram on a
Stained Chinese Takeout Menu
I dare not correct him, bite my tongue
Struggle to keep from laughing that
Everything he has said is wrong, wrong, wrong.

The sweetest moment the
Hard candy on my tongue
Was a 5 word text from my Alligator
“I hope you’re staying dry.”

Night falls: Cheshire cat shows me
Patient bubbles in molten
Butter teaching me to make
Edibles Sickly Golden
Marshmallow and 90s children’s cereal
Always Watching Everything and Everyone
He takes it all in, I wonder
Does he have a choice? I wonder
Can he rest at night?

Hurricane Barry 2019 I spent with
My Best Friend Sola, with Samuel and
Cheshire Cat, cuddled in my Crush’s bed

And here in my palm,
I take home a mason jar of
Hurricane Water I gathered in heavy mugs
On the brick by her potted garden
Sola adds Brandy to keep it fresh
Now colors honey sharp to save for
Witchcraft for dry days
One for me and one for you.
And a boy for me and a boy for you.
How could I want for more.

Mr. Alligator and the Swamp Bunny

Whether curled in a nest of
Twigs, fur and moss
Or sliced raw by marsh grasses,
Sometimes Blood stains,
We do not fear sinking
In the Muck we evolved
To thrive in macabre
Creation and in decay.

“Mr. Alligator, the kindest of us posses the depth
To be the most cruel.”
“Dear Swamp Bunny, we are gentle because we have been
Hurt the most. We crave to be that which
We were denied but our
Pain lashes out hot and fast
From time to time.”
And cruel we are.
Merciless as angelic
Show your wings sweet
Child they are fresh but
you must use the damn things
Don’t fear showing your
Spotless capacity to love
Pure and violent

Today you emerge from the Muck
Printemps, I am Molting my
Winter coat
We are ravenous
Shaking for food
Quiver for touch, for warmth
Praying for a peek of sunlight
Cold in the bone of
Haunted cypress chilled and
Bald, new born held
In raw hands

We have faith that Heron and Spoonbill
Part the Thunder
Raise the sun
Warm days to come

Why yes I am warm blooded, yet
Delicate and not afraid to
dirty my snow white fur
“You need a little help
Keeping warm yes?” Yet
Your big teeth do not scare me
Your deadly tail falls with a thud
More than a reptilian mind,

I see quiet in you
Softness is your pheromone
Draws me back to you
Taste Blue Iris when we kiss
When you whisper in my sharp ears:
“You’re a tough little Bunny.”

Safe to close my eyes under the Stars
Cicadas hush our worries I could
Place my paws into your steaming jaws
Courage the Lion
The tamer, the Savior
I believed my prayers went
Unheard but I found you caught
Every word every
Twitch of my lashes each
Tap of my feet you watch, you remember
By moonlight you watched me sleeping

“I am more scary than you will ever understand, Alligator”
“But I am more afraid than you know, little Swamp Bunny. You are only scary in your mind and I am not afraid of you.”
I said, “I watched over you all winter,
Counted soft bubbles through molasses,
Where now the lily’s feed.
You breathed sleepy and dreamed of me.
And I hopped around the Neighborhood
For the last few seeds and final twigs
Little teeth could gnaw
To share with our friends
I knew you would return you to me
You slit your eyes open your scales
Stop pretending you don’t care!”

Push my paws against your cheek.
“Look me in the eye!” and he said,
“I pray to god one day I will cry.”

“I dare you to push the limits of
What you thought your heart could take.”
And he said, “I dare to you push the boundary
Of how deeply you thought you could let go.”

July 2019

Sweet Fear Aquarius

A softer desire. Sweeter,
quieter affection. You move slow,
make sure I enjoy you.
Can we be little creatures together?
I’d like to burrow into you, into soft Earth,
Can we make love tonight?
Like the Wind,
You want to see so much, cannot
Sit still, I must respect
Your nature, my lover I can only
Pray that you choose to stay

You are the Wind
Also the steady Breath
Come home to the body
Bringer of seasons Messenger of
Tidings of Summer heatwaves you
Howl through my bones Love
You hurl sand grains in the
Eyes of distant armies you
Blow the Sea from shore to shore
Your waves
Overpower my body and
I let you caress me on the porch by the Sea.

You are always here
Come home to my body Deep
Belly, throat, mouth and lips
Fill me to my lungs and nose
Make me wonder if
I will survive the pleasure of your fingertips
Assault of my lips, tangle my hair
I want you. There is your
Voice from California I heard
You’re still singing. Alone or
In a crowd I don’t care just
Keep fucking singing
Fuck till we’re gasping
Fight till we’re screaming
Keep sending me paper letters
Crisp leaves falling slow carried
In your palms across Mountains across
Prairie. Home to New Orleans.

We’re not so far away,
Really
I can still hear you singing.

Feel your chest rise and fall, my sweetest Aquarius if you can’t tell me, please whisper in my ear. I will pause the turn of the Earth to create quiet enough to hear you. I will breathe over your chest, kiss your lean stomach, I will put goosebumps down your spine.

Caus your voice is the one I want to hear right now. Yours alone. Ours together I’d bet we will make music, we’ll make Magic.

& if it makes you happy maybe I will float with you, steadiness as we pause here and there to plant seeds and

Running again we are panting, we are
Always laughing we
Make love we are gasping and
Fingers dig into each other hold on
For dear life I fucking promise I won’t let you
Blow away
& you finally held on
You returned to your body
We sighed together
Ragged and Terrified
Stop Running
Catch your breath
Please come home

I’d part the Red Sea if I could find a way into your heart
Navigate the Mountains between us
Not the hurricane, not the tornado
Will be a reason anymore find the
True reason for running off
Stop pushing me away
Breathe in, let go
Come home.

July 2019

Holy Violence, Sacred Sex

What if the flowers emerging in this moment were all that mattered, if I let them rise to the sun, to drink & play? I could let the little creatures fight, claw, and bite with sharpness & with Red, with Blood.
Medicated to push down the Rage. Laid to rest. Put me out to pasture.
Holy Spirit, old angry ghost, sit by my side, Red & Blood & Thickness

You are welcome here, Violence

Kick and slide, skidded elbows and knees, screaming and
Falling on rocks, on
Crystal, pieces of Amber trapped
Creatures, Celestial
Beings are only of the earth

We are all from the stars
There is nothing we can do

Flow, my anger.
Talk of murder as a child
Parents confide in death wishes
Mother confides in doctors that
I plan to kill and the truth is I did at 9 years old but
Now at 16 I only desire to kill
Myself

Surrounded by anger
Creating Rage on my body
Passive violence inside
Bloody violence out

I am real
I am I

Sexual aggression
I desire so fiercely as I did at 16 a means
To feel:
Beautiful
Wanted
Desired
Worth
And that is okay and welcome here

I can be a Yellow rose.
Smell this moment
Blood & Sex
I am a woman

2009 and triggered by the Perfect Babe, my first boyfriend’s old crush. Jealous of her sexual attention, of her white hot starvation. Drove far away and landed in the arms of a young man I knew. A rush of his merely…. platonic magnetic drive.

I won

Achieved that satisfaction
But triggered by what
I Know I Wanted
& turned away, yes, as I always do.
To remove the Sin. Extract pain. Feel real.

To Hunt

Kill the parts arisen.
Hold myself down if you don’t have the balls to hold me down while you fuck me. I know what I want.
Do you love me as you desire me? as you need me?

Hurt me
Ravage me
Command me to Come

In your name

I want to fall in love with you
I lust for you
Beg you to take me,
Just as I am

Sacred
Violence

Sex and Pain
The Animal
I am Violence and Pleasure
If you won’t choke me
If you’re not brave enough to leave bruises on my skin
I will get what I want from someone who will
Say my desires are real
Holy aggression
Lust for violence

To Be Hunted

Capture me
I won’t say no

And a tightness arises in my deep throat
As if I may cry
A tenderness
Hold and release
Slave and Master
A prophesy of your calloused hands around my throat

I know what I want

Hunt me
Stalk me
Green eyes
Illuminated by a candle in the night
Through sharp grasses
Unleash your wildness unto me

I cannot be tamed aside from your hands. If you are so strong, let me feel it. Show me I belong to you.
Your weight on me
To smother, to allow

Stop me, Punish me
Force pleasure upon me
Inside me
Underneath the parts that
Need to be beautiful
Bruises I can hide and
Look back on at work
& rush of blood to my cheeks
& wanting you again.
Right below the scars on my thighs
Won’t you leave a better memory?
Chosen
Show me I belong to you
Pain on
My body. Violent Spell work
Chanting, singing, dancing
Blood, bones, sex
All of this and more
I need

Blood of Sex of
My womanhood
Flushing cheeks
Bruises blood in hidden scars
To Feel is To Bleed
Pain & Pleasure

I can finally be quiet with your hands around my throat.
You give me no choice
As I have always
Wanted

May that which brought shame upon me become my greatest pleasure
In My Name I Pray

We Destroyed the Miracle because We Could

These days I am weary
But I let the ocean toss me
Surrender to
Her Power
Acknowledge I am
Smaller
Than omnipotent peace
Carried myself to the sea at midnight
Full moon and went
To the Deep
Strong enough to fight Her
Deep and cold where the
Fear Lives where
Old women sing us awake
Treading Water
You are rough tonight
But I have faith I will not go under
I spoke with you & the Moon I
Sang in French
Dove under each wave
Reemerging just to say I could
Bare but not quite nude
Salt between toes
Dove under each quake
As she Came
and sticky and shaking in my body
Gasping as if I might Drown

I Fought For You
I Battled in your Name I
Love You

I’ll never fucking leave you.
Curl & float
I may look dead but I am very alive
Toss me about all you like caus
All I can do is trust you
The Bravest I’ll ever do is
Surrender

Up on the porch next to my Best Friend
I let the wind coarse over my entire body I
Let her Caress me I let her
Hold me & Sweep all the Muck away &
She did so gladly. She never stopped,
Not once. She never left. I just laid back.

Then me and the guys, we walked Late, Late
& Found a mysterious gift of fresh fruit
Laid bare a miracle a gift washed up
Lulled in the wading deep
Offering which we destroyed,
Reveling, in our power
Ending that which was free & Holy
Because We Could
And that is enough

Figures in the dark,
Tyler says they’re afraid
Of Me and I swell in
Power and Pride

I said we should scream into the waves, I
Said run, and we did,
We fucking did.

Girls, Bodies, & Magic

Soft, pink & warm thing,
Palm of my left hand you lie
Sleeping you dream of dancing maybe
One day crying.

He is nearby.
Never sure if
He is watching,
So continue performing.
Carry on your
Prancing.
Let him close when he approaches.
It’s okay to look away when
He can’t see.

Disgust & self-loathing,
Feed your daughter before
She knows better.
Before she knows
She’s stronger.
Feed her poison when she laughs
Too loud. Shine her windows when she
Scrapes her knee playing ball.

Put a needle in her palm.
Buy her a shiny fish to stare at.

Teach her to slit her
Tongue
& Lick
Bruises, to keep cumming,
Flipping pages, avoiding
Rages.

It won’t be long till she understands her opinion is only valuable for marketing.

She’ll teach herself how to starve, don’t worry about that.
She’s okay, really, she’s okay. It’s not a problem because she
Keeps
Saying
She’s Okay.

And mind your damn business.

He had visions of you taking over this world and he was terrified, you shook him to his core. He knew, he saw your fire, he saw you dancing in red skirts, heard you singing wild, he understood the threat of your joy, the sharpness of your mind, the power of your body, the magic in your words,

He saw you as a weapon

& He made you believe that for many many years.

As you were born he feared you were a witch yet
Here you are a Sorceress
You are yet a queen
Embody
Goddess recognize yourself in the mirror
Honor her in each of your sisters
Don’t stop gazing
You will see

———————
Photograph at top is by: Aries Photography, find her on Instagram @ariesphotographynola
Modeling is by me: Mag