To Chase
A Feeling is
Not Real
What
Fleeting Poltergeist
do I wake at night
and fantasize about
As I touch myself
Desperate
For a feeling
Some vague desire
To be real
Delicate geometry
Pressed against
The corners of my windows
Peering in
Crystal is ice
Reflecting parts of me
I’ve said goodbye to
Please come home
My bed is warm
I become
Pink & soft
Simple & holy
Just a little creature again
& forever I can just be good and that can
Be enough
Ice crystals catch upon
My midnight window
Your winter kiss
I shivered all fall
Your frostbit exhale now just
Simple condensation on
The slick meat of rosy cheeks
And finally, palms eternally released,
Held in
A lullaby of Goose down fever
Freed from the search
Of all I am
Supposed to be
SJC Fall 2020, edited Spring 2023
Lucid Dreams 